Happy… a baby’s wide open toothless smile, a contented sleeping dog by the fireplace, the relief felt after a tiring day when our head finally hits the pillow…day to you.
These are all happy beats, let’s look for them.
THE STORY OF THE PORCELAIN DOLL… HOPE
Dear ‘LB’ friends,
The upcoming story about the porcelain doll is laced with sadness but ends with victory.
THE STORY OF THE PORCELAIN DOLL… HOPE
Once upon a time there was a little girl who lived in a poverty section of a large city. The streets looked the same as many tired, depressed areas in other towns. Her clothes were worn and many times dirty. It was hard for her mother to hand wash all the clothes from the kitchen sink. Her house had only three rooms, a small kitchen, small bedroom with an oil stove in the center of it to heat the house, and a small living room. The one bedroom was cramped since five people slept in it.
She had a mother, father, older sister and brother. She didn’t know there was anything unusual about her house since the other houses on her block were also small and old. However, there was one slightly larger house with four rooms in it. It contained a living room, kitchen and two bedrooms. She liked going there to see her friend because her rotund mother always had the delicious smell of soup enveloping the house.
She was hungry often but, didn’t let the mother know. Because, even at that young age, she was ashamed of her lack of food. She tried to pretend everything was fine and played in the small, weed filled back yard with her brother and sister. They didn’t have many toys, but were creative in doing fun things. When oil was bought, they used the empty oil drum to stand on and roll across the yard. There were many times of falling off backward hitting the hard dirt. But, they kept trying laughing at each others mishaps.
Her days were creative but it was the nights she dread. Her parents were alcoholics and fought bitterly. Many nights she would be awake listening and seeing their violence. She was always so afraid her mother would be hurt. She tried to intervene but due to her small size, was unsuccessful. She screamed, “Dad stop! Don’t hurt Mom!” Crying, she kept looking toward the bedroom window waiting for the rays of daylight to filter in because she knew when it was daybreak, they would finally stop their fighting and fall sleep. She then could allow her eyes to close.
Days went by and one day, when she was six years of age during Christmas time, she saw a porcelain doll on display at a department store. It was the most beautiful doll she had ever seen. It had a red laced dress with white lace stockings and shiny black shoes. The doll’s face was finely etched with delicate features of perfectly shaped rose colored lips, blue eyes and golden blond hair.
She begged her parents to get her one for Christmas. “Please, please get me the blond hair porcelain doll at the department store!” It was all she thought about. Every day she hoped it would arrive at their three room house. One day she saw a wrapped box the size of a doll under the Christmas tree. She was so excited! She couldn’t wait for Christmas but, had an under lying dread. On previous Christmas Eves her Dad, in a rage, threw the Christmas tree down.
She pushed the nagging feeling away and thought, it won’t happen this year. Day after day she looked under the tree to see if the box was still in tact with thoughts, it’s ok. It’s ok! So, finally Christmas Eve arrived and she went to bed in anticipation of opening the box. The underlying feeling proved out when her Dad, after a night of drinking at the bars, in a rage threw the Christmas tree to the floor.
She awoke to shouts and the crashing of the Christmas tree with the ornaments breaking and sliding across the floor. She thought, oh no! Not my doll! She jumped out of bed and peered under the sprawling tree searching for the box. She found it under broken colored ornaments and green boughs and with shaking hands she opened the box. It was the porcelain doll! She had the lacy red dress, white lace socks and shiny black shoes. She was so excited!
She pulled her anticipated doll out of the box but to her dismay, the beautiful doll’s head with its beautiful blond hair and finely etched features rolled out of the box landing on the floor. She looked at it for a long time but, didn’t know what to do. Thoughts ran through her mind, oh no, my doll, it’s broke! She tried to put it back on top of the doll’s body, but it kept falling off. After a time of anxious attempts, with a sinking heart, she took the doll, threw it in the trash can and never asked for another Christmas present from her parents.
That memory stayed with the little girl throughout her adult years. One day she relayed the story to her older sister Angie.* Upon hearing the long ago memory, Angie said, “You know what you should do? Why don’t you buy yourself a porcelain doll? I know you don’t want or need one now because you have out grown the desire but, that’s not the point. You were stolen the joy of that doll and you need to replace it. Right now, all you have is a bad memory.”
The now grown woman felt there might be something to her wise, sister’s suggestion because she felt something start to break up deep within her and felt tears come to her eyes. The layers of grief covered by life’s distractions started to crumble like a dry, wilted flower; those feelings that were deep inside her of the sorrow of a little six year old girl. Not only of a treasured doll being broken but, also years of violence, lack and upheaval to an innocent child.
She pondered what to do. She knew the devastating effect of her childhood but didn’t realize it was still inside her causing an underlying sadness. She thought, I didn’t know I still felt the pain of so many years ago. Maybe Angie is right. I need to get over this memory. I need to pray releasing the memory and also buy a porcelain doll and see it for a blessing to replace one of the damages of my childhood.
So, the grown up little girl decided to buy a beautiful porcelain doll. She will find just the right one and place it under her Christmas tree at Christmas. It will have an honored spot so she can see it every time she passes by the twinkling Pine. Nestled and safe among colored lights and green boughs, it will always stay a treasure. Her new, hopeful memory will replace the old painful loss signifying that which was stolen is now replaced with joy and gratitude.
THE END and THE BEGINNING
So, dear ‘LBs’, I tell you this story in hopes it will heal something within those who feel a loss at Christmas time. Your memory may not be of a treasured doll that was broken. But, your ‘happening’ may be severe in its impact. We must not stay victims to our youth or older years. Many of us have lost loved ones or a dream was shattered, a breakup occurred, a family member away from home or even a loss of a beloved pet, to name a few. The Lord heals our hearts and turns our mourning into joy.* He will tell you what you can do to break out of the ashes of the past.*
Do as the grown up woman did; pray and release the memory. We all have our own way to pray, but an example might be, “Father, in the name of Jesus, I thank You for hearing my prayer about ______________. You know the ache I feel in my heart when it happened. I give the moment and memory to you. It has stayed with me affecting my joy of life. Please accept it and take the pain and sorrow away. I thank You for helping me to break out of the ashes of the past* and I want to know You more.”
Just as the woman needed someone to help her, you might need some one to help you. There is a contact person at the bottom of this story who can help.
This is a wonderful time of the year to receive your freedom. Jesus was born to set the captives free…us free.* All you have to do is ask Him. He is waiting with open arms.
Oh yes, I will be looking for the perfect porcelain doll and place it under my Christmas tree as we celebrate Jesus’s birthday. It will be safely housed along with any other presents. I guarantee the tree won’t be thrown to the floor breaking the colored ornaments and green boughs.
Until next time…
*Fictitious name; *Jeremiah 31: 13, 35; *Isaiah 61: 1, 3 *Luke 4:18
If you or someone you know, has had similar experiences and want to talk to someone, they can contact Dawne at 1-833-644-3600. She is a compassionate and effective professional with years of experience helping families, individuals and children. For more information click CONTACT option at top of page.
©TEXT & PHOTOGRAPHY, NEW VENTURE ART
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